What Is Pillow Talk – Pillow talk is an intimate conversation that happens between two sexual partners. It can occur before or after sex. Other behaviors that can appear while pillow talking include cuddling, caressing, or heart-to-heart conversations. The afterglow of having an intimate night with your partner can make you feel more open and honest, hence the small talks afterward. In a broader sense, pillow talk can also be about flirting with someone without really engaging in any physical relationship [1].

People who are in committed relationships often develop their own intimacy. This intimacy is strengthened by a type of pillow talk that is known only to them. Although we tend to associate pillow talk with sex, this activity goes far beyond its sexual connotations. Pillow talk is the ribbon that connects two people throughout the course of their daily life.


What Is Pillow Talk
A Study Reveals What Goes On During Pillow Talk

In a study conducted in 2011, sleep psychologists Daniel Kruger and Susan Hughes discovered that men do not fall asleep faster than women after sex. In fact, there is no difference between the two genders as to who falls asleep first. What’s more, they determined that both men and women are interested in bonding more after intimacy. However, women appeared more inclined to bonding behaviors (talking and cuddling). Scientists surmise this may be because of the release of oxytocin, a hormone linked to trust and bonding, that floods the bodies of women after making love. Scientists are looking into the premise that the presence of testosterone, an oxytocin suppressor, may inhibit or reduce the desire for such an intimate conversation among male bodied individuals [2].

What’s The Best Way To Pillow Talk?

It can be hard to make time for your husband, wife or partner in this busy world. Sometimes, bedtime is the only time that you can get together, making it the perfect time for bonding. Pillow talk is more than just love making. People build their feelings for each other through verbal communication. In fact, pillow talk is an excellent excuse to catch up with one another. Here are some guidelines to make the experience more meaningful for both of you.

Keep it light

Use this opportunity to talk about lighter topics such as how your work day was or plans for future trips. Avoid topics that can trigger arguments such as finances and personal relationships with family members. Remember that this is the time for you talk about life and your feelings with your partner.

Accept silence

Not all pillow talks have to involve conversation.  Pillow talk can include silent activities using body language, like cuddling and caressing. That physical contact can be enough to generate a sense of security and safety that can make it easier for both of you to fall asleep while growing closer together.

Keep gadgets away

When you want to have an intimate conversation with your partner consider removing all gadgets from the bed or bedroom. The bedroom should be specifically about sleep, sex and pillow talks that are healthy for your relationship. Remember, the blue light coming from your devices can affect your sleep, plus it can distract you from your much-needed intimacy with your partner [3].

How Pillow Talk Helps Couples
How Pillow Talk Helps Couples

What is pillow talk and why bother with it? This form of intimacy can bring you closer together. Here’s how:

You get to know more about one another

We all need someone to talk to. Allowing your partner to hear your inner thoughts and see your personal side may help reinforce your collective hopes and dreams.

More intimacy

People who are in committed relationships often have sex to generate a deeper bond, and pillow talk can have a similar effect. The intimate talk and sexual innuendo that occur after sex are often when partners verbally express their deepest secrets and emotions one another.

You can hear each other

For many people, pillow talk is the only time they get to listen to their partner without outside distractions. This gives people the sense that what they are saying matters which can result in increased confidence, trust, satisfaction, and bonding with one another [4].

A Last Word
A Last Word About What Is Pillow Talk

We often connect pillow talk with romantic notions of sex and love. But researchers are also interested in how pillow talk is affected by hormones. Currently, scientists are studying such matters as testosterone levels vs. oxycontin release and how their interrelationship affects males and females through every phase of the pillow talk process.

For the layman, there is no doubt that engaging in pillow talk helps people build their relationships. Pillow talk is the conduit that turns an attraction between two individuals into committed relationships. Pillow talk is a privilege that benefits both partners. Kind words and comfort can go a long way in getting both men and women to reach a higher level of intimacy.


What Is Pillow Talk Resources:
[1]   Wikipedia; Pillow Talk.
[2]   Psychology Today; What a Couple’s Pillow Talk Can Reveal, Theresa E DiDonato Ph.D., December 02, 2016.
[3]   Sleep; What is Ideal Pillow Talk?.
[4]   Elite Daily; How To Pillow Talk With Your SO To Deepen Your Connection, Imani Brammer, September 05, 2017.

What Is Pillow Talk - Understanding This Age Old Act Of Intimacy
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What Is Pillow Talk – Understanding This Age Old Act Of Intimacy
[QUESTION] What is pillow talk? [ANSWER] Pillow talk is an intimate conversation that happens between two sexual partners. It can occur before or after sex.
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Tomorrow Sleep
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